They say that the worst loneliness is to feel lonely being accompanied, but we do not know for sure if this is entirely correct. In The Lonelys we want to put a good remedy to this situation, but also to understand it.
Actually, science itself has been studying the feeling of loneliness and its relationship with other human emotions, but much remains to be discovered.
Usually, people who feel lonely are those who lack physical companionship in their daily life routine.
Those who tend to suffer more from loneliness are those who have previously had a stable companion, such as widowers and divorcees.
There are people who say that the worst loneliness is feeling lonely in company. Perhaps because they live in company, but they say they do not feel fulfilled or do not experience a sense of well-being.
What many experts emphasize in these types of cases, in particular, is the feeling of being misunderstood or lacking acceptance, which can be somewhat confused with loneliness. Consequently, someone who exhibits these negative emotions is probably not experiencing loneliness, but rather feelings of rejection or misunderstanding.
Often, they even repeat to themselves phrases typical of feeling lonely even when accompanied, such as “my partner only works and sleeps”. With them, they martyr themselves and make the problem increase.
Why does one face the worst loneliness, which is to feel alone when accompanied?
It is not only people who are physically unaccompanied who feel lonely. Also some people who even live with others or work in groups. At some point in their lives, they may feel that this company does not really empathize with their needs.
Science explains that many people who are in company feel lonely because they live with other people who have very different interests from their own. Thus, not finding common ground, the person feels different and strange to the other, which is often confused with loneliness.
This feeling of difference or misunderstanding may be the reason why people believe that the worst loneliness is feeling lonely in company.
If it is not really loneliness that makes people who are accompanied feel bad, it would be necessary to study the reasons why they feel dissatisfied.
The first thing is to assess whether the company you keep is the most appropriate. Sometimes we live with people close to us, but we do not really relate to them.
And then what about those around me?
It may be the case that the people around us, be they family, friends, acquaintances or colleagues, are in “different vibrations”. As we have already said, they may have other interests and since they do not share common activities, there is no relationship of closeness.
Therefore, it is essential to understand that the fact that other people share a physical space with us -home, office, apartment- does not mean that they are keeping us company.
If they are really people who do not empathize with us and we do not have quality time to share, then it can be considered that they are not accompanying us.
Maybe this is the reason why you still feel lonely, even when there are people sharing the physical space with you, but they are certainly not keeping you company.
Below we will share with you some tips that might be helpful when it comes to feeling less lonely and improving your mood.
If you feel that the worst loneliness is to feel lonely in company: learn to enjoy loneliness.
If you stop seeing loneliness as your greatest enemy, you will surely start to stop blaming it every time you feel bad.
As we have discussed, perhaps the root of your problems is not really lack of companionship, but that you are not empathizing directly with those around you.
Seen from this particular prism, you are not really alone if you share your space with someone. What can make you feel isolated is not finding common ground with your peers.
If you think about it, you’ll see that loneliness is not to blame for your frustration, sadness or bad thoughts. You probably don’t know it, but there are many people who live in loneliness and are fine. That is, they live without negative feelings or work to alleviate them.
Loneliness is not the reason why you feel empty in your life. You must look inside yourself for the emotions that are not being well channeled and the aspects that you must heal to learn to fight with the typical feeling that the worst loneliness is to feel alone when you are accompanied.
Pay attention to who you have in your company, is it the right one?
This is perhaps the most important aspect of all. If you meet family members, close friends and even your partner and children and yet you feel that they do not accompany you, it is a clear sign of a lack of empathy.
You have the opportunity to empathize with people who are close to you on your own initiative. A good recommendation would be to start taking an interest in the things that attract them or invest time with them developing some activity for common benefit.
Many times we feel lonely, even though we have people around us, because we don’t know how to approach them in the right way. It is essential to spend time with someone to get to know them and thus create good bonds.
Ask for professional help
Finally, it is necessary to stop and observe what we feel. If the feeling that the worst loneliness is feeling lonely in company overwhelms you, it may be because you are actually beginning to isolate yourself.
As we feel that we do not empathize and do not find points of rapprochement with the people around us, it is very likely that we will move further and further away from them, until we possibly become depressed.
If this is your case and you definitely feel extremely isolated, even if there are people close to you, consider the alternative of seeking professional psychological help. Do it in time and be sure to find good friendships thanks to The Lonelys.